I think that a lot of people are very hard on themselves, they don't give themselves permission to make mistakes. They do things to themselves that if someone else were to do to them they would want to call the police. Self acceptance is difficult for allot of people. I know people who find self love incredibly hard.
I think some of it is cultural, as we are from a very young age told to make something of ourselves, instead of just accepting ourselves as we are. Some people feel guilty if they do something good for themselves. I believe that you truly can not love another person until you have learned how to love your self. So there is another perspective, because too many people deeply believe that they are nothing without someone else; their soulmate, lover, spouse, etc. Their self worth is dependant on somebody else. A very codependant society.
Many of us use each other like a drug, that's what relationship addiction is all about, needing my fix from another person, and don't get me wrong, it's wonderful to be with other compatible people, or that special someone, but it's also wonderful to validate and value your self. In my opinion, self love begins with self respect.
Learning to love yourself is the most important lesson you will ever learn. It is the prime ingrediant for happiness. It is the one thing you will need for success. You can begin youre life in a dumpster with only 'get the hell out of my dumpster' as encouragment, but self-confidence will steer you to absolute unconditional success.
Throughout my life I've often wondered why we are destined to love others and rarely does anyone put any forethought on loving ones self until someone comes along and repeatedly reminds you..."to be happy one must be happy with themselves." Well if you think about it, it's true. How can you base a love for another from you if you don't first find love within yourself? It's nearly impossible. Here's a list of things to help you love yourself and become a more independant proud individual of your own life.
Rec'd via a friend..author attached
How to Love Yourself
STOP ALL CRITICISM. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
DON'T SCARE YOURSELF. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
BE KIND TO YOUR MIND. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
PRAISE YOURSELF. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
SUPPORT YOURSELF. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
MIRROR WORK. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you!"
LOVE YOURSELF... DO IT NOW. Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now - and do the best you can.
I believe some of you really want this to keep your relationship last longer and forever. So read this article below. I found this very useful and make you perfect in your relationship may be. Ahaks. ___________________________________________________________________ Are you being kept up late at night worried sick that you would never be able to find or keep your true love because of a rival? Suspecting your date, or lover having an extramarital relationship? Here's what you could do so you could win back the one you love and keep them!
(1) Show your partner you respect their choices more than anyone else. Do not do anything or say anything which forces your partner to do things or see things your way! If they have to make their choice whether they want you or the other person, give them no excuses to leave you for somebody else, show them your respect! No one likes to live under the control of another person. Your partner will more likely choose you if you can show him or her that you are willing to give them the freedom to make their own choices and respect his / her wishes.
(2) Do not try to Compete Do not try to compete with your rival, if you have one around. When you are competing, you are struggling, and when you are struggling, you create a lot of negative energy around you, leading to unpleasant experiences with the people who just happen to be with you. Instead, try to create opportunities that lead to positive experiences, especially with your partner around. Let your partner feel that they can feel more at ease when he or she is together with you. Let your partner feel more comfortable being with you than with somebody else.
(3) Avoid discussing issues relating to your rivals. Whenever you are with your lover do not keep asking or questioning them on issues relating related to your rival (Examples: "Where did you go yesterday?" "What did you give him¡", "Why does he do this¡", you get what I mean). Asking such questions would only put his defense system on autopilot and his / her replies to you might not be truthful too. Most often than not, such discussions lead to unpleasant experiences with your partner, both of you might even fight or quarrel over an insignificant issue and further ruin your relationship. So give your partner freedom of choice. Let them do whatever they want and like, and you will find that they will appreciate your understanding. If your partner finds that he/she can breathe easier when being with you than with the other person, they will come back to you, with no effort on your part!
(4) Stop clinging to your lover like sticky glue Recall the type of person you once were when you first started seeing and dating your lover . That 'person' you once were is the person whom your lover once loved deeply. Be that 'person'. When you were that 'person', you were someone who did not cling to your partner like a parasite. You were independent, carefree, and full of zest for life! This is the real 'you' whom your partner love and like to be with. So drop all those attachment. Practice detachment instead. If your relationship is failing, other people will tell you 'Your partner has changed.', or 'People change. This is life.' Instead, pause for a moment and ask yourself "Has my partner really change? Or is it I who have changed?" Have you changed to someone who has become too demanding or controlling in your relationship? Your partner love you for who you are. So 'be' that independent person you once were!
Keep the above tips in mind, and you can be sure that you will the heart of the one you love without any effort on your part!
Truly, i nearly cried. This video gave me chills. Friendship is everything. Sometimes, we don't realize there a good people in our life. People who really appreciate his friendship
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away!
Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng
