A piece of Heart... A moment..
I really tired...tired with whats i am doing.....huh!
I think.. i did a mistake. Big or small? it is not a issue. Believe my ownself pushs everything away that i owned before. Since last couple of days, i keep telling myself, am i doing the right thing?...Am i doing what my heart says?......The path that chosen 10 years ago has brought me far-2 beyond from what i really want to....I tought i have clear enough what i suppose to do in my life,but i was wrong.....i wasted my entire life with doing those things which are not my passions which are not my dreams.. a dream i plant since i was young , since i was 14 years old.
Really, after few months spent here, i just realized.. and it is very clear now, technical field is not my passion. This is not what i really wanted. This is not my field. Eventhough i did a good job on this, but this is all about the path..wrong direction,,wrong path...till i lost my trust on myself...i really dispointed.
Very clear!...I want to be a graphic designer...i want to be somebody in Adverstising company, not in Mechanical Maintenance Dept.. Not in the big oil and gas plant, not by spending my entire life doing something terribling myself.....oh no!..keep it away..! When i was in primary 4, i still remember, a moment i asked my teacher to last minute change my stream, from mechanical to accounting...but i was failed with her nice talks. She asked me to try..but finally i did..i really did well.. very well...but, ....this is not what i really want...And started form that moment, i just follow the flow without any guidance to choose.....it was wrong.
When i was a child, everytime i went to the bank wit my mom and everytime i saw any bank officer, i told myself, i want to be like them..counting the money, dealing with people everyday..plus with smiles....but....Allah s.w.t has determined my Qada and Qadar ....to be technical person.. a person who holding a Mechanical Engineering Degree. a person who holding a Engineering Management master.....ermmm..
Now i am listening, to the words here in my heart, a wish i have started but can't completed for a long time..i listen to the sound from deep within and it's only begining to find release..Oh, now i realised, the time has come for my dreams to be heard. This time will not be pushed aside and turned into my own all cause if i won't listen.
Listen, i was alone at a crossroads and i was not at home with all guidance to the right path, i tried and tried and i shud have known now i'm done believing in my whats and i'm feeling i m more than what, it made of me.....
I believe time still allow me to pursue my passion..my dream, a sole dream to be someone who really good in arts. graphic designer..When i coming back to Malaysia, i will enrol for my degree of Arts Design and Multimedia in one of universities.
Today, i talked to marco pucchi.. i think what he said to me was right. I have gained a lot of things in my life. I known what i am doing...i have my clear future..i done it all to achieve my bright..but i thing, do the same what heart asks..sometimes,if combine technical and arts can be very wonderful...just go head....now i gotta find my own that i believe i will satisfy with what i did in my life... " It is nothing wrong to dream flying high, but it is wrong to dream vice versa.....)
God, bless me..
posted by Love Is Love @ 10:17 PM
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