The Next Damn Thing in Life
There's so many secrets hidden unknown. And there are so many circumstances which stop every moment for joys. That's how i feel when i'm thinking about life. Today is Tuesday, a very warm day in Dubai. and it's a bit hot to walk outside the room. Towards the end of May, it is already a summer season and sometimes the temperature could reach almost 50 deg C.
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I am actually bad or rather lazy at researching a place before i travel, tending just to show up and see what happens. When you travel this way, what typically happens is that you end up spending a lot of time standing in the middle of the bus station or train station feeling confused, or dropping wat to much on money on taxis because you don't know better. And this is just happen to me today. After i have my meeting completed around 12 noon at Jebel Ali Free Zone area,i just asked straight away the taxi driver who was waiting for me all the way since 9.00am at the KNM office to drive me to whenever the visitor like me who wants to spend money without any concrete reason. So i just followed what he said and end up i dropped me at nowhere. And off course, i look confused and " what's the hell of this place"?. My shaky sense of direction and geography means i have explored few continents in my life with only the vaguest idea of when i am at any given time. Aside from my cockeyed internal compass, i also have a shortage of personnel coolness, which can be liability in travel. Basically, i was at Al Kamala, a shopping area for those whom wants to shop branded stuff with a good price. I have no ideas what i bought and spent about thousands for home and whoever that i can remember.
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And now i am at Traders Hotel - my favorite hotel whenever I travel outside Sarawak. Among all the most prestigious hotels in the world, i don't know why i am so loyal to this Hotel. Is it offers better than others?. I guess.
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There are so many things in mind. After few weeks i'm emotially suffering heartbreaking moment and hoping for someone to coming back, and it never happens. It has being so hard to joy every moment that i have in the past few weeks. Even until now, it's so difficult in this position to rely on someone who are not belongs to you. Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, since i was in Italy and first went oversea with my saved up cashiering money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I believe that i am loyal and constant in my love for travel plus my work!. Hey, life is not for a duty!. Monday to Friday, 7.30am to 4.30pm, weekend doing housekeeping at home..These is all routine and i dont like honestly routine job or routine life. i feel about travel the way a happy young kid got his 1st present at his 1st birthday and i just dont care what its put me through.
There are so many things in mind. After few weeks i'm emotially suffering heartbreaking moment and hoping for someone to coming back, and it never happens. It has being so hard to joy every moment that i have in the past few weeks. Even until now, it's so difficult in this position to rely on someone who are not belongs to you. Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, since i was in Italy and first went oversea with my saved up cashiering money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I believe that i am loyal and constant in my love for travel plus my work!. Hey, life is not for a duty!. Monday to Friday, 7.30am to 4.30pm, weekend doing housekeeping at home..These is all routine and i dont like honestly routine job or routine life. i feel about travel the way a happy young kid got his 1st present at his 1st birthday and i just dont care what its put me through.
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This year has being a lot of things going to happen. Looking back on what i have sacrified does not promise anything. Am i happy enough to go through this year with just doing these routine works. I have a lot of things i want to do. i want to travel as much as i can with a buddy that i can talk to, i want to learn the most beautiful languance in the world- Italian and i want to eat the foods that i dream of. I love to speak Italian as I used to it when I was in Florence, Italy. It had being so wonderful leaving with the people speaking the most beautiful language. All about Italian is so sexy, the people, the food, the ancient building and the language. I love to say” Alora, buon giorno, buon notte, dove manga staserra, signore?”..i really miss these words. I am not sure when I will be back to Italy.
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Gosh! i could use a little break from this trip, to give myself some space to discover what i look like and talk like when i'm trying to merge with someone. And also, let's be honest, it might be a generous public service for me to leave intimacy alone for a while. When i scan back my romantic record, it doesnt look so good. It's been one catastrophe after another. How many more different types of women can i keep trying to love, to continue to fail? Think of it this way- if you'd had ten serious traffic accidents in a row, would not they eventually take your driving license away?. Wouldn't you kind of what them to?.
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There's a final reason i'm hesitate to get involved with someone else. I'm exhausted by the cumulative consequences of a lifetime of hasty choice and option passions.
I could probably make a lot of friends and keep anything aside whatever thing involves with the feelings. Hey, there is still a lot of things in my to do lists. And i don’t want the idleness ruins my calendar and keeps it empty. I have one ticket to Gold Coast which was opened last year and probably I planned to go there with Liz. If she is confirmed. If not, I will be traveling alone all the way from KLIA to Gold Coast. But, it is still undecided eventhough I have bought the ticket last year. Ofit and the geng wanna spend their holiday in Aukland and asked me to follow. I may spend my holiday in Australia with Liz if no changes in the original plan.
Will see…
posted by Love Is Love @ 12:29 PM
1 Comments:
zafrel,
Don't give up on love. Someday you will meet that somebody and everything feels so right but just keep trying and pray to Allah but don't push it too far okey..
hurm, I wonder who is LIZ?
take care!
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